I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We are two peas in an std pod
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
