my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Two words: blizzard sex
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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