haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
