i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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