Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize