Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
