apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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