"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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