We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
