its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize