Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize