We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
