Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
