Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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