he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
