I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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