awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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