never play flip cup with pint glasses
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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