His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is Oprah even human
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
