he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I want to be your penis for a week.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
