We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you never un-have a 4some
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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