I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
