He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
