why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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