She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
