...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
