My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
