She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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