Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Your penis caused this!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
