So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
