If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What drink are we having for lunch?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
