She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
