I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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