those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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