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So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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