"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
