I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
