Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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