My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
