Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
