yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
