The maid of honor just puked.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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