I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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