Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
