So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
