They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
