I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
