That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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