i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
