ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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