Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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