I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
