I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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