Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize