I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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