What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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