So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
