Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
