how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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