I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
