You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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