imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
