Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
