you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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