So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
