All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
